It's true what they say about when being in the picture differs from being out watching from outside the frame. I might be mysterious I know, what I mean is that while I was in this whole what I can call it massacre, I never saw things as they really are...I might say that I was unconscious of what was happening. I acted in a wrong way, I made dreadful mistakes. Yet what is the purpose of all this. Things are messed up already and I seem to fail to get things back the way they were. I was often surprised by that fact that so many people were trying to ruin this relation by all possible means. Yet the hardest thing ever is to discover that you so called best friends played w major role in the destruction of this relation. People might be so close to you then stab you so hard in the back without warning you. That is exactly what happened to me. And every time the stab was way stronger and deeper than the one before.
The ones who care about me tell me I must go on, let go,
and live my life. They say he sold you out, so why are u holding on to him that
much. I just say I have no idea, I don't know why am so bound to him?! It kills
me actually. Yet I seem helpless right now, doing my best to move on. Hope it
works soon.
But I always wonder: what about HIM?! Does he feel a small
portion of what I feel? Does he care? Am I still on his mind? Or he managed to
forget me so easily? Was I something that important to him? Or not that much? All
what he did? All what has been said? All what has been done? The looks? The
words? The memories? Too much to be forgotten easily. People tell me that I am
a champion for being that strong and not cracking. But I guess a lot of people
don't know really who I am...…..!!
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