It's been a long time, this whole crooked relationship between me and the GUY. Well I guess it is time to let go....but let go?! I just can't. Every time I think of letting go something must happen to push this thought away out of my mind. So what am I supposed to do? I just keep thinking of him a lot, and a lot nonstop. And when I stop thinking, he pops into my dreams. It’s like he is stocking me or something. Did he charm me? Why is he so powerful and I am so weak?!I wonder a lot!! I let go a couple of guys before. I won't deny that I have been hurt, yet letting them go was easy though. So, what's the problem? Why things are so complicated. What kills me the most is the fact that he might have let go of me, yes he see me somewhere and he's like I know her, there was something. Yet even though if he had feelings before now he feels nothing! Or that what I think. He treats me as any other less than the ordinary girls. Just a little talk some day or a coincidence. Not like before, we aren't even close friends if you know what I mean! Just a girl he met. So the fact that am still bound to him while he had broken free from my chains bugs me a lot. Dreams, dreams, they just reflect what I feel inside of me. And these reflections show that I am still bound. Things collapsed between us and I tried my best to re build them again but no use, never changed the fact that he had built a barrier between me and him. But why? He forgave dozens of people who hurt him a lot and caused harm to him. So why not me? Why can't he forgive?! Maybe forget?!He keeps telling me I don't hate you, I can't hate you. So..?! What is the benefit if not hating me if it doesn't change anything?! I am just so numb. Sometimes I burst in tears, other times am truly angry. And other times I am just depressed. I pray God to set me loose, but it seems to take a very long time. I don't know what to do.....Don’t know!!!!
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